OK so I guess I'm feeling chipper enough now that I can tell you about my trip. I honestly tried yesterday but the creative juices just weren't flowing. Plus it was just one of those days where all my happy thoughts had drained out of me and were circling the drain... Every once in a while you just have to have one of those days, right?
SO. Norway. Get ready for a long ass post, folks.
So we get to the airport at like 6pm on Thursday night for an 8pm flight, which, of course, is delayed. Something about bad weather in Norway? Not a good sign... We check in and proceed through security to our waiting area. Of course, savvy traveler that I am, I decided to wear a sweater with a GIANT METAL BUCKLE on the side of it, so I have to have the public pat down. They take me behind the CLEAR PLASTIC WALL (really guys, if you're trying to be discreet there are better ways to do it) and a big black lady gives me a rub down. They send me on my merry way into the waiting room where my plan of action is to get dinner at one of the many pizza hut's I saw from the bus window as I passed the terminals and then head to take a pee. Well ya know what? The Norway terminal doesn't do pizza hut. I settle for a ham and cheese-spread sandwich and a coke..............
.......after which I move on to the next thing on my agenda. WELL, apparently in the Norway terminal not ONLY do you not get pizza hut, you don't get a TOILET. So I have to go BACK through security, pee, and return to greet the pat down lady with my giant metal buckle proudly displayed on my hip and a smile on my face.
ANYWAY we get into Oslo around midnight and start walking to our hostel. Norway has this weird, quiet air about it. The streets are practically empty, the restaurants are all closed up, and there isn't a car in sight. It was very eerie. To make matters worse, when we check into the hostel and stumble into our room at 12:30 we find that we are living with three middle aged men, who, of course, all smell like a butt. Not to mention my pillow and comforter REEK of man sweat.
End day one.
The next four days were actually pretty cool. Besides the fact that it was thirty degrees and RAINING the whole time we were there, we actually experienced something that was new and unknown and I'm really proud of myself for doing that. We went to Bergen, Norway one day which was really cool. It's a little fishing town situated right in the middle of a bunch of fjords. We took the funicular up to the top of a mountain and got to see the whole view which was just AMAZING. Here's a picture:
We also saw all of the viking history museums and one exhibit that showed these amazing viking ships that had been buried and perfectly preserved.
Apparently when a viking ship was taken out of commission it was saved so that it could be used in the burial of an important person. In the 1900s in Norway 3 13th century viking ships were discovered buried in Oslo with most everything perfectly preserved.
One of them was a viking queen, and she was buried with gold tapestries and beautifully carved sleighs and even peacocks and horses! The clay the ships were buried in preserved them PERFECTLY. I thought it was really, really cool.
So basically, the trip was cold and wet and kind of stressful for quite a few other reasons I don't care to mention, but overall it was a cultural success and I'm really proud of myself for pushing through it even though it was kind of hard.
OH yeah, and the last night we were there, one of the men moved out and this 80 year old Middle Eastern woman who spoke NO English moved in in his place. What happened to the concept of a YOUTH hostel?? ANYWAY...she started yelling at me in some language I did NOT understand. I thought she wanted the lights off so I turned them off, which just riled her up more so I turned the bathroom light on, which STILL didn't stop her so I went to her bed to see if she was ok, which just irritated her MORE, so of course I was left standing there with my arms raised saying "I DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE!" Her reaction? She THREW HER SHOES AT ME. Excuse me, bitch? Having always been taught to respect my elders I politely gathered up her shoes and placed them by the side of her bed, gave her one last shrug, and went to sleep.
aka: 
Basically our flight crew was retarded. First in France they couldn't get the gangplank away from the plane so we were stuck for 20 minutes. THEN customs was a MESS AND when we were waiting for our bags they couldn't get the DOOR open on the plane to get our bags out so of course I miss my connection. United tells me the only way to fix this problem is to rebook. The computers right next to where i picked up my luggage are broken so they send me all the way across the airport with my gigantic bags to rebook at the united counter. At the united counter i found out that all flights to springfield had been cancelled (united periodically cancels flights to springfield to clear up their schedules) and that i would have to fly out the next day. Only problem was that there was a snowstorm/ice storm due to come in that night and I would probably be stuck there for 3 or 4 days. Needless to say the tears started flowing. Super-mom of course gets on the phone and works her mojo on a united representative in india and gets them to pay for a flight from chicago to springfield through another airline. How does she do it?!@#@!!! Needless to say I started a riot at the united counter when people heard... 
BUT there is a happy ending...I made it home back to my Joe and my family. My heart is in a good place right now :-) Joe had to leave again to pick up Hammoudi and spent Christmas with his family but I'm really happy he gets to see everyone he loves for christmas. I'll get him back soon. I'm a happy girl!
