Dear Paris,

How can there be so much food here and so little to eat???

I went from eating this:

To eating this:

Seriously guys, eat some meat.

Love,

Callie

PS.

TO THE MAN WHO FARTED ON ME ON THE SIDEWALK:

Could you have possibly waited until AFTER I passed you to let that out? I'm pretty sure by the sound of that thing that it involved some effort on your behalf. You totally could have held it. Have some pride, man.